I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
