Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize