im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
