He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize