We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
