i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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