im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
