I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
