Moan for me like Helen Keller
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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