it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize