His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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