how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
