My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I need to calm my uterus...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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