Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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