I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
