Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize