I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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