you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Houston, we have a squirter
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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