Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
