I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Houston, we have a squirter
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize