you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
