its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
