Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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