Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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