Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
