just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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