i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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