first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I wish i was in the wii world.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
