Got a toothbrush?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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