I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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