Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
