there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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