pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
