While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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