My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my shit smells like andre
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
