i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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