It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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