you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
