The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
