Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
