period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
