Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Alive.
So much puke
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
