Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize