While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Randomize
