woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Mom said you looked used
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
