Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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