I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
