I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize