Fine. I'll sleep in my office
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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