You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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