Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
