her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
