You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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