once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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