I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Randomize
