so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize