we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
