Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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