I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
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