Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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