Got a toothbrush?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My pussy is not your playground.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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