Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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