He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
